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- The number 117 isn't just Master Chief's identification, it's the length of his penis... in yards.
- There is no energy shield. Projectiles just stop before hitting the Chief.
- Master Chief doesn't need weapons to kill things, the weapons need Master Chief
- The Spartan Mark V armor actually broke because it couldn't contain Master Chief's awesomeness.
- If the marines just stay out of his way, Master Chief can finish the entire Halo story before you can say 'Halo'.
- The Chief did scare some Elites. So much that even their armor colors turned white, that's why there are white armored Elites.
- Microsoft doesn't own Master Chief. On the contrary, the Master Chief owns Microsoft.
- Master Chief's voice has the power to give women orgasms. The helmet he wears merely keeps that from happening.
- There are no Hackers, Modders, Glitches, Lag, and Cheaters. You losers were playing against the Master Chief and he's a better player than you.
- Gordon Freeman sleeps in Master Chief pajamas.
- All leading causes of death among aliens involves Master Chief.
- There was indeed an ending for Halo 2. Your X-Box just can't handle it after loading the Master Chief.
- When the Master Chief files his Tax Returns, he sends in the forms with plasma grenades attached.
- In the original Super Mario Bros. The Master Chief is the reason why the princess is in another castle
- Master Chief once blew up a German Panzer tank just by staring at it for 2 seconds
- Master Chief has 2 settings: 'Kill' and 'Extreme Massacre'
- When Master Chief wants eggs, he melee attacks a chicken. The eggs come out boiled and nicely salted
- When Freddy Cruger goes to sleep. He gets haunted by Master Chief.
- Master Chief can solve a jigsaw puzzle by throwing the box into the air and shoot it with a full clip. The puzzle will land completely solved.  
- Master Chief can eat a whole puffer fish and survive
- In the Grand Theft Auto games. It is possible to go beyond the 6 Star wanted level. When you do, Master Chief will immediately kill you with a rocket launcher.
- Respawn exists because the afterlife lives in fear of Master Chief.
- Breaking Benjamin's song for Halo 2, 'Blow Me Away', is a poem of one of Master Chief's many kills.
- The dictionary is actually a list of objects, places, and ways the Master Chief has , in many combinations, kill people.  
- What happened to the wildlife from the early build of Halo? They commited suicide because they knew the Chief was coming.
- Spartan armor is actually designed to protect the enemies from the Master Chief
- The real reason that Bill Gates left Microsoft is because he pissed the Chief off. Now he's hiding in fear.
- It is said that when someone masterbates, God will kill a puppy with a thunderbolt. When God masterbates, Master Chief will kill a pack of ravenous wolves with his bare hands
- When Master Chief wants steak. He melee attacks a pregnant mother cow, when the cow gives birth; she gives birth to a cooked steak with garnish
- When Chuck Norris files his taxes, he sends in a blank return and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes.
One year, the IRS sent him back a picture of Jack Bauer wearing his dark sunglasses as a response to Chuck's means of filing his tax return. In response to the Jack Bauer photo, Chuck Norris
sent the IRS a picture of Master Chief holding the Index in Halo's Control Room. The IRS never bothered Chuck ever again.  
- When Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands, they're now known as 'The Islands'. When Master Chief visited the Islands after Chuck, Well... guess what happens next?
- Before the development of Rayman: Raving Rabbids. The Rabbids' had to undergo coaching to achieve their psychotic screaming, this coaching was done with a picture of Master Chief.
- For training to fight grunts master cheif 'Melee Attacks' the face of cow babies at least once a day (by Sonicgundam)
- Master Cheif defeated the computer "big blue" by asking it: "What's 2+2=?" (by Sonicgundam)
- Crime no longer exist because master cheif took a bite out of it... LITERLY (by Sonicgundam)
- Master Cheif won all the events at the olympics twice and that's before they even started (by Sonicgundam)
- When Master Chief shoots. The bullets don't go into the enemies, the enemies are going into the bullets. (by The Milk Man 09 [@ www.Xbox.com])
By ~c-force

First Chuck Norris, then Jack Bauer, now Master Chief
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:iconwannabeboxer:
WannabeBoxer Featured By Owner May 8, 2017
this is so cool
Reply
:iconfanformer:
Fanformer Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
lol
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:iconjustsumguylol:
justsumguylol Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2016
117th comment, for the 117th spartan. Praise the chief!
Reply
:iconjustsumguylol:
justsumguylol Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2016
Master Chef gained the most votes in the smash ballot, but even with tons of intense nerfing, he kept killing everyone with just one bitchslap (including master hand) so sakuri was forced to remove him from the game and instead went with the runner-up: bayonetta

If you collect a 1-up mushroom in super Mario 3D world after already having 999 lives, your counter goes into 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000+infinityxinfinitynotakebacks and transforms your character into master chief. His special skill is beating ANY level 100% just by walking 5 feet

Rovio originally made a angry birds 3 but had to cut it due to game only having one level: master chief taking one of many egg-and-ham burritos out from his refrigerator and eating one while gazing at a burning island

In Skullgirls, if you beat story mode on nightmare difficulty as Filia, it plays her true ending:

Samson: well kid, whatcha gonna wish for?

Filia: I need to make this wish count. I know a little about myself to know now that memories are in the past, what's done is done, and it's time to move on. But carol, what happened to her is my fault isn't it? So, SKULLHEART, I WISH FOR PAINWHEEL TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN!

Skullheart: your wish is pure, almost. Healing the girl is noble, yet you seek absolution for your forgotten guilt. Your transformation will be-

Samson: master chief

Skullheart: -void, and I will heal carol right away so you two can live as normal schoolgirls. Btw, don't tell chief where I am

In Skullgirls, once destroyed or used for it's wish, the skullheart reapers every 7 years. Master chief, however, has the ability to permanently destroy it: by skullfucking it

Master chief is considered to be too powerful to cameo in mortal kombat due to the fact that the match right away skips to the fatality scene, where master chief tells his opponent to "pissoff" afterwards, out of fear the opponent gets on their knees for master chief to pee in their mouth. Then the chief rams several grenades down their throat and the opponent explodes. This also works on bosses too. However, if both players pick chief, they both pull out a random fighter offscreen and both perform the same fatally on them

The only reason why Locke became the main protagonist in halo 5 was cause chief went to genesis, to buttfuck cortana, IN THE ASS! While blue team were busy rounding up all the wardens, to take all forrunner technology, and shoving it up all their asses. By the time Locke showed up to "save him" chief already finished busting his nuts all over cortana, then he btchslapped her into another dimension before regrouping with fireteam Osiris
Reply
:iconargontheminer:
ArgontheMiner Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
When Master chief plays Minecraft, all mobs within a 34 chunk radius of him die of fear.
Reply
:iconargontheminer:
ArgontheMiner Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The real reason the ur didact died was because he Accidentally annoyed master chief. 
Reply
:iconroller323:
roller323 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2015
Kill and extreme massacre setting lol
Reply
:iconwerelightshine:
werelightshine Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
The reason the covenant sided with UNSC was out of fear of angering the chief.
Reply
:iconawestriker007:
Awestriker007 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
ALL HAIL MASTER CHIEF! MAY BUNGIE TAKE HIM BACK AND SAVE HIM FROM THE EVIL 343 INDUSTRIES (Only Thing they did right was Master Chief Collection)
Reply
:iconfloblo7:
floblo7 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2015
hear hear
Reply
:iconawestriker007:
Awestriker007 Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Yes
Reply
:iconbazerk1234:
bazerk1234 Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2014
Plot twist MC is Deadpool. 
Reply
:icontortoise01swe:
Tortoise01Swe Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
TOOO MUCH AWESOMENESS :D
Reply
:iconboylov:
boylov Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i would love to see the chief meele a chicken!!!!!! Laugh LOL that would be so righteous!!!!
Reply
:iconchigiri16:
Chigiri16 Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is all true
Reply
:iconkiasoulshards:
KiaSoulShards Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014
 Wow, nerdgasm xD
Reply
:iconmegaguirl:
megaguirl Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
:iconcannotevencolonelplz: RAAGGHHH!!
Reply
:iconcoastalset:
CoastalSet Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
This seems legit. *thinks a bit more* Yup it's legit!
Reply
:iconhotspot97:
HotSpot97 Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013
I wish the one with GTA and the sixth star was real, that would be totally kick ass
Reply
:iconravingshark:
RavingShark Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Cortana was originally built with clothes. but when master chief first set eyes on her, the code for her clothes was immediately erased and replaced by the code for a sexy nude hologram body
Reply
:iconpeppycatinvader:
PeppyCatInvader Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
the weapons need master chief... aw yeah XD
Reply
:iconsolusdarkcoat:
SolusDarkcoat Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
I'm a big halo fan and I don't really like people making fun of the halo series
but this is quite funny^^
just one small problem the part that says: It is said that when someone masterbates, God will kill a puppy with a thunderbolt. When God masterbates, Master Chief will kill a pack of ravenous wolves I with his bare hands
I don't like that since I love woves, just wanted you to know
Reply
:iconxxitachixxzz:
XxitachixXZZ Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2012
Lmao nice
Reply
:iconrhay-berry:
Rhay-berry Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2012
"Master Chief's voice has the power to give women orgasms. The helmet he wears merely keeps that from happening."

LMAO nice :D
Reply
:iconspeciesunkn0wn:
Speciesunkn0wn Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2012
nice
Reply
:iconcacklefrendly:
CackleFrendly Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2012
"The universe was created when Rory Williams and Master Chief glared at each other. For every one second they glared, one-hundred-thousand universes were created. They glared for ten minutes straight."
Reply
:iconxwrathxchildx:
xWrathxChildx Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
I hate to do this.....but....*Marines
Reply
:iconassassinscreedgamer:
AssassinsCreedgamer Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
HAIL THE MASTER CHIEF! :iconmasterchiefplz:
Reply
:iconsodiitrain:
SodiiTrain Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2011
Hell YEAH!!
Reply
:iconnewgate94:
Newgate94 Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011
#5 is awesome!
Reply
:iconhellzassassin:
HellzAssassin Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I love this! But wait. I thought Bill Gates owned Microsoft?
Reply
:iconmagmos:
Magmos Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2011
Master Chief is so awesome, he makes Chuck Norris look like a beggar!
Reply
:iconhesitant--gaylien:
Hesitant--Gaylien Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Chuck Norris: Please! Teach me!!! 

Master Chief: Someday little one, someday...  
Reply
:iconstormy222:
stormy222 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011
the Master Chief made the Reaper Fear him.
Reply
:iconthatguywithacape:
ThatGuyWithACape Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
Master Chief defeated Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer in what scientists mistakenly refer to as "The Big Bang". The force of Chiefs final "Chief Punch" (which is over 9000 times more powerful than a falcon punch) warped the fabric of time, and Chief ended up in the future while Chuck and Jack landed in the "Present".
Reply
:iconthe-golden-knight:
The-Golden-Knight Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010
He's just THAT awesome! I like the one with Chuck sending the picture of Master Chief...and what happened to "The Islands" after Master Chief got there?! :hmm:
Reply
:iconparko1234:
Parko1234 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2010
Master Chief pooped in his spartan suit during the halo 1 campaign but he's so tough he just put up with the smell throgh halo 2 and halo 3 campaigns

Scott pilgrim vs the world was originally going to be called master chief vs the world and it was going to be a documentary, but it was just a 5 second fight scene and an hour and a half of master chief fucking your mum
Reply
:icondavuzu:
Davuzu Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2010
I add a cool fact
Master chief had both Spartans and marines with him. and later elite-allies. DooMGuy went to hell with a ƒuckin' pistol. So you know, DooMGuy all the way.
Reply
:iconthatguywithacape:
ThatGuyWithACape Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010  Hobbyist Artist
BLASPHEMY! CHIEF, OVER HERE!
p.s. Marines are useless in Halo, the Spartans all died at the beggining of Halo 1, and Doomguy picked up more weapons on the way. Chief can only have 2 at once.
Reply
:icondragoon12:
dragoon12 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2010
master chief went back in time,grew a beard and changed his name to to chuck norris
Reply
:iconcoastalset:
CoastalSet Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
I believe your story.
Reply
:icondecipleofchrist:
decipleofchrist Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2010
Master chief powns
Reply
:icona129:
A129 Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2010
The Master Chief never had biosurgery he just hit puberty.
Reply
:iconsuicidalmarshmallow:
SuicidalMarshmallow Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
WOAH! I just read the first fact and stopped to contemplate. Just...WOAH! O.o'
Reply
:iconcaptninja:
Captninja Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2009
Gordon Freeman lol
Reply
:icontherealmasterchief:
TheRealMasterChief Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2009
.... I approve....
Reply
:iconrikz9pilot:
RIKZ9PILOT Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2009
(SORRY IF DONT WRITE ENGLISH IN THE CORRECT FORM )HAHAHAAHAHA ME AND MANY OF MY FRIENDS LOVE HALO MMM IM WONDERING IF YOU CAN TRANSLATE IT CAUSE A LOT OF MY FRIENDS CAN'T READ IT IN ENGLISH PLEASE(AND IM NOT SO GOOD AT ENGLISH)PLEASE.....THNX
Reply
:icontecuro:
Tecuro Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2009
Loved every bit 'special the part about god masturbating! LOL!
Reply
:iconmexpiratered:
MexPirateRed Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2009
Master Chief invented the cream of this its SpartaAAAAAAA, even when there was no world.
Samus its actually a Matser Chief Fangirl in a dumb cosplay suit.
Jesus Walks over water, Chuck Norris Walks Over Jesu,Matse Chief just kill the lake and later kill Jack Bauer just for fun.
Reply
:icongravijar:
Gravijar Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2009   General Artist
I don'thave any objections! You got me there Master Chief :D
Reply
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